Why men dread marriage.
I read this article at the behest of a friend's post on Facebook. In the article the author attempts to answer an age old question as to WHY modern women realize in their mid to late 30's that they want to be married and haven't achieved nuptial bliss. My offering for unmarried men:
To men sex abroad is greater than sex in a marriage.
From the time we are old enough to use the bathroom in the upright position we men are told and bathed with the definition that sex is the ultimate expression of manhood. And not just sex with one woman...but with as many as we can manage! This doctrine is taught to us starting from as a boy, “You got you a little girlfriend yet?” all the way to as one of my uncles recently phrased this question, “You ain't got you a little tadda?(some might say "Yam"...don't judge us...sweet potatoes are good...)”
For MOST MEN, sex is the equivalent of money. We brag about how much of it we get and how we don't know what to do with all of it that we have. Yet if you were to run a “sexual background credibility check” on most men they would be bankrupt. So if most of us men don't get buffet style sex, then why the hesitancy to get married to a woman that loves and cares about us? Just as with money, men want to do as little as possible for as much “return” as possible. Why get married when they can fool many women into thinking that casual sex is the first all-essential stop on the road trip to marriage?
Unmarried men are irresponsible and know it.
Marriage is a huge responsibility. The bible says we should love our wives as Christ loved the Church. Christ's love for the Church compelled him to die to secure the eternal fortunes of everyone willing to call Him Lord(enter into subjugation to His life's example). Men who aren't married don't want a woman depending on them unless its for a willing and able sexual partner. These men fail not only to care for the ultimate well-being of these women they profess shallow feelings for, but are unwilling to embrace the needs of anyone else.
Their mothers won't marry them.
No I'm not talking about incest...but unmarried men tend to make a serious mistake when thinking about what characteristics make a good wife. These men expect their future wives to be like their mothers. A mother by nature is designed to nurture, care and love her child in a “do everything for him because he's helpless” sort of way. Men that NEVER grow up emotionally and socially in their view of women often find it hard ho'ing(pun intended) as we'd say back home when the women they meet get tired of having to be the mother of a man-child when what they want to be is loved, cared for and equally adored.
Finally...they never saw their fathers love their mothers.
This isn't just about single moms...but very much about men failing to teach their sons the lessons of *sings* “When a man loves a woman...” One of the real sad parts of my life growing up is that I seldom “saw” my father do anything romantic for my mother. Sure...he paid the bills and put food on the table and took care of the stuff that would have been nearly impossible for a single mom to do. But initially lost to me due to the commercial jamming signal that Hallmark puts out is how the responsibilities of being a husband are only met by a man that has a deep and earnest love for his wife and family. Unmarried men often think that all women want is someone to financially provide for them when really what women want is someone that loves them so much that providing for them and the family they hope to establish are simply brushstrokes on the canvas of a union-center(it's about them not her or him) marriage.
I probably should stop here...Star Trek is paused on my DVR.
